Graduation Day

Ansley with her friends from school:

Well, Ansley is now an official kindergarten graduate. I have a few pictures below from graduation weekend. I want to have a few others taken in her cap and gown - I couldn't get my camera to focus right in the sanctuary for the actual ceremony. But it was a wonderful weekend celebrating our girl. I really feel like graduating from kindergarten is something special - and I can't figure out why public school doesn't acknowledge this achievement. Its a whole new world in kindergarten, especially for those children who did not attend any sort of preschool. It makes the children proud, connects them to their school work, and allows parents a moment to see how far their kids have come in just one school year. Anyway, I am glad the little school Ansley attends celebrates this moment.

Here is Ansley on stage - not sure what that face means. We asked her before to make sure and SMILE, to which she replied, "I can't watch my teacher and smile at you at the same time." I could not argue with her on that. Here is she reciting her part during the program.

Before the graduation ceremony....

Here she is with her daddy. And, excuse me for a moment while I brag (but if you can't brag on your own kid on your own blog, where can you do it?) but she got Student of the Year for academics and behavior. We were BEYOND proud. Of her and all the other kids.

Here comes 1st grade!

A few more pictures taken by Melia.

Playground Wars

I have been trying to blog about this particular incident all week. I think it took me a while to get my thoughts together and they are still a little scattered - so excuse the run-on sentences and the stream of consciousness-type writing.

The kids and I spent last Saturday on Dauphin Island with my good friend Kim and her family. They were camping there for Spring Break so we went for the day for some beach and some fun. It was a great day complete with a picnic and some time on the playground. And that is where I met....HIM. The meanest 8 year old I think I have ever seen in my life. And I have spent almost 10 years working in public schools - the last 6 as an elementary school counselor.

While Kim and I say chatting on a park bench, I glanced to my left to catch Carson (Kim's son) jumping out of the way a kid taking a swing at him. At first I assumed it was simply a game of you-can't-get-me. But when this kid turned around, I knew he was not joking. This kid was armed with a plastic, full sized shotgun and was threatening any kid who dared step on the playground equipment he had declared his own property. But it wasn't just threats - he was acting on it.

"I think we can all share this slide." I said.

He then shoved the end of that shotgun at Ansley's head and made a noise like a shotgun blast and I was up and over there in about 10 seconds. Surely, I thought, if I stand here - staring at him - on this piece of playground equipment, he will either leave or at least leave my kids alone. We are not talking about the biggest playground - it was pretty much play on this or swing. But this was not to be. After being called several names I didn't hear until middle school, I watched him take that shotgun and swipe it at both me and the other kids attempting to climb up to get to the

And at that point, I was done. I firmly took the end of his shotgun in my hand, pulled it to me, leaned in close to his drawn up little face, and whispered, "If you touch me or another child on this playground again with your hand or this gun, I will lay you out on this ground."

Instantly I began praying that he believed me. That he really though I had it in me to put him flat on his back in front of God and everyone at the playground. Our eyes were locked for several seconds...and then he sat back. He had bought it. He bought my threat. The kids began climbing around him to get to the slide and he just sat there. No tears. No words.

After a few seconds, I told him we would love to play with him if he was nice. No answer.

A few minutes later, a van drove by and it was his ride. He took off running to the van. Well, I thought - perhaps I just bought myself to meeting with his mom - who is probably 100 pounds of muscle and tobacco...Maybe I can outrun her I thought. Kim can take the kids in the opposite direction.

But the van drove off.

And my heart was sad.

How sad to be 8 years old and to put a plastic shotgun to someone's temple and pull the plastic trigger. How sad to be that mean when you are so young.

When I told Jamey about it later, he said, "He is 100% showing off what he sees at home." And I know this is true. But the anger- the desire to hurt someone. At only 8 years old.

Ansley had so many questions about it. And let me tell you, it is not easy teaching your child the right way to stand up for themselves. When do you just concede the playground - when do you say, you know what? I can play here too. And Im not going to let you hurt me.

I'm not sure. But I am sure that my heart breaks for that little boy.

Back Home

Cruising was definitely a NEW experience for all the Dukes! And we jumped in with our whole crew not really knowing what to expect. It ended up being a great trip and a great experience for us all. We left Mobile about 4 Saturday afternoon and spent the next day and a half at sea. This meant time spent at the pool, reading, eating, eating and eating! Our rooms were tiny, but had everything we needed. We had pull down beds for the kids, but they spend pretty much every night in the room with my mom down the hall so we really didn't need the pull down beds anyway.
Jamey and I decided that we are more fans of the excursions than we are the days at sea. This was one clean and organized boat! And there was so much to do on the boat - we both just had kind of a, well, antsy feeling the days at sea. I am not sure if that makes sense. We loved exploring the cities. Progresso had the best cheap, fun jewelry. We all agreed that we wished we had purchased more pieces there. Cozumel did not have nearly the cheap (but still really cute) items. Everything there was expensive! In Cozumel, we went to Playa Mia for the day. Swimming, jumping on the water trampoline and taking a catamaran out were the events of the day.
Each night, our WONDERFUL waiter would present the best meal. It was so nice. I can't even begin to describe it. He told us he sees his family in the Philippines every 6-7 months. I don't know how he does it. He told us he was thankful to have a job and to be able to send money to his family. He was such a gentleman.
The shows on the boat were really good too. Much better than I had expected. I didn't realize they would do a dancing/singing show several nights. Also, they have a Camp Carnival that runs almost 24 hours a day for the kids. They did arts and crafts and games and snacks and movies for the kids.

Our only bad experience the whole time actually happened to my mom. But she was a trooper and let it roll right off of her. The pool on that boat was WAY too small and deck chairs were PRIME real estate. She found an empty chair one morning and sat down to read. About 45 minutes later a very LOUD and presumably drunk man insisted she had moved all his things to a secret location and had stolen his chair that he had been saving all morning. Um, ok. His wife was embarrassed (although I am assuming he behaved this way on a regular basis - too bad for her) and my mom told him she had done no such thing, but quickly moved away from the crazy man.

We are now researching the Disney cruise :) Of course, this is no surprise to any of you out there!!!
We are off to the beach tomorrow to visit with friends and soak up some of the last days of Spring Break 2010.

Watching her grow up

It's one thing to have an unhappy child b/c she is hungry or tired or because you are forcing her to brush her teeth (the horror). But watching your child unhappy because of things you can't control or shouldn't control, is a different ballgame entirely. And knowing when to step in and when to let her deal with it is certainly something I am not an expert in.

The children rushed through the open gate of the playground, baskets in hand. They took off in all directions searching for Easter eggs in the grass, near the fence, around the picnic table. The quickest children were filling up their baskets fast. But Ansley was not the quickest by any stretch of the imagination. She was always one or two steps behind the faster children - the ones who would reach out and grab an egg just as she reached for it. None of those children were mean and none were attempting to block Ansley from any of the eggs. But in the land of Easter egg hunts, it is every kid for themselves. It took about 30 seconds for Ansley to get frustrated. She looked at me with big eyes that were quickly filling with tears.
"I'm not fast enough." she tells me.
"Yes, you are." I tell her. And my heart is caught in my throat. We go behind the swarms of children and I help her see the less obvious eggs. The ones above her eye level. The ones tucked into crevices or fence boards. She begins to enjoy it and she adds a few eggs to her basket. The hunt is over in minutes. And she has FAR fewer eggs than most of the other children. I am proud of her when the child next to her announces she has 22 eggs and Ansley reponds by saying, "And I have 9 eggs." She does not tear up when saying it. Her little chin does not quiver. She hugs her basket of 9 eggs close to her little heart and smiles at me.

At times, she is going to be frustrated and hurt and sad through her life - just as I was at times growing up. But I hope she remembers that she is smart and beautiful and that she IS fast enough. She is just right the way she is.

Catching up with pictures..

10 things I have learned in the past 3 days

There are many things I have learned over the past few days:

1. I will take a miracle wherever I can get it. Having your child unresponsive and turning blue on the same day 2 EMTs and an ER nurse happen to just be sitting in the back of your church is a miracle in my book. And I will take it.

2. USA Womens and Children is one stinking good hospital. Every single doctor, nurse, tech we met was polite, caring, attentive and compassionate. The volunteers were kind and spoke to Ansley and not about her. The teachers and volunteers at the school on the 4th and 5th floor were exceptional and Ansley was thrilled to go for the little while we were there.

3. Med students and nursing students like to ask questions. And I didn't mind answering them (or attempting to answer them) at all. They were all eager to learn and we were happy to help in the process. We had at least 6 student nurses ask permission to look in her chart or examine her and 3 different med students. All were polite and appreciative.

4. Caffeine and cardiology are Ansley's new words of the week. She is off of it completely. Now when the cardiologist told her no caffeine and explained what kind of drinks contained caffeine she replied, "Those are the drinks my mommy wont let me have." Whew - at least she didn't tell him she drank Dr Pepper with her cheerios that morning (which she did not by the way). I am pretty crazy about no caffeine for my kids and always have been so this is nothing new for us. I will admit though, that I do let her have sweet tea when we eat out sometimes - but as we don't eat out much anyway, it was few and far between. But goodbye caffeine! See you again, well, never if I have my way.

5. The pediatric cardiologist and his nurse get 2 thumbs up from the Duke family. He is straightforward about her heart, but also discussed with us his addiction to texting ( I also suffer from this addiction) His nurse patiently explained her heart monitors and had everything ready for us before we go there so we could "get right on out of there as quickly as possible." She also told Ansley up front she would not be poked, squeezed, scraped or mashed with an ultrasound wand. Ansley was relieved to hear it.

6. I have the best family and friends (some are coworkers, but as I consider them SO much more than just a coworker I am just calling them my friends) in the world. Of course, I already knew this, but they really raised the bar the past few days. Good job guys. And thank you from the bottom of my heart.

7. Going on a cruise to Mexico while wearing a heart monitor is completely possible as long as the cruise ship has a phone. Which is does. We will also be passing the hat to help pay for phone calls of heart results to the doctor back in Mobile... Kidding, Kidding...gotta love modern technology though. Because of it, we are home and NOT still in the hospital.

8. We WILL have a plan of action for the next time Ansley passes out. And according to the cardiologist, there is a good chance this is something that might happen again and again. Ok - so we know its going to happen. Now we write a plan. Everyone who even MIGHT take care of my baby at school, church, dance, sleepovers, will know exactly what to do if and when it happens. So I apologize in advance if I make you listen to a lecture, take notes and then repeat to me the instructions I just gave you. I'm pretty sure no one minds though - and having help is a great relief.

9. My 2 kids and Jamey are my world. Of course, I knew this one already too, but as I am not going to cry today ( I decided this morning) I will not type a lot of mushy stuff. But I will tell you this - Ansley, Jamey and I have laughed all day at Stephen telling us about his new "arts and CRAPS" kit from Aunt Peggy. He has been doing Arts and CRAPS all day. :)

10. And last on my list, I learned that visitors, balloons, cards, emails, singing cows and dancing flowers bring out giggles that make even a hospital room a nice place to be. But I AM glad to be home with both my babies.

Now, we press on with figuring this new world of cardiology out...thanks for walking with us along the way.