Watching her grow up

It's one thing to have an unhappy child b/c she is hungry or tired or because you are forcing her to brush her teeth (the horror). But watching your child unhappy because of things you can't control or shouldn't control, is a different ballgame entirely. And knowing when to step in and when to let her deal with it is certainly something I am not an expert in.

The children rushed through the open gate of the playground, baskets in hand. They took off in all directions searching for Easter eggs in the grass, near the fence, around the picnic table. The quickest children were filling up their baskets fast. But Ansley was not the quickest by any stretch of the imagination. She was always one or two steps behind the faster children - the ones who would reach out and grab an egg just as she reached for it. None of those children were mean and none were attempting to block Ansley from any of the eggs. But in the land of Easter egg hunts, it is every kid for themselves. It took about 30 seconds for Ansley to get frustrated. She looked at me with big eyes that were quickly filling with tears.
"I'm not fast enough." she tells me.
"Yes, you are." I tell her. And my heart is caught in my throat. We go behind the swarms of children and I help her see the less obvious eggs. The ones above her eye level. The ones tucked into crevices or fence boards. She begins to enjoy it and she adds a few eggs to her basket. The hunt is over in minutes. And she has FAR fewer eggs than most of the other children. I am proud of her when the child next to her announces she has 22 eggs and Ansley reponds by saying, "And I have 9 eggs." She does not tear up when saying it. Her little chin does not quiver. She hugs her basket of 9 eggs close to her little heart and smiles at me.

At times, she is going to be frustrated and hurt and sad through her life - just as I was at times growing up. But I hope she remembers that she is smart and beautiful and that she IS fast enough. She is just right the way she is.