Playground Wars

I have been trying to blog about this particular incident all week. I think it took me a while to get my thoughts together and they are still a little scattered - so excuse the run-on sentences and the stream of consciousness-type writing.

The kids and I spent last Saturday on Dauphin Island with my good friend Kim and her family. They were camping there for Spring Break so we went for the day for some beach and some fun. It was a great day complete with a picnic and some time on the playground. And that is where I met....HIM. The meanest 8 year old I think I have ever seen in my life. And I have spent almost 10 years working in public schools - the last 6 as an elementary school counselor.

While Kim and I say chatting on a park bench, I glanced to my left to catch Carson (Kim's son) jumping out of the way a kid taking a swing at him. At first I assumed it was simply a game of you-can't-get-me. But when this kid turned around, I knew he was not joking. This kid was armed with a plastic, full sized shotgun and was threatening any kid who dared step on the playground equipment he had declared his own property. But it wasn't just threats - he was acting on it.

"I think we can all share this slide." I said.

He then shoved the end of that shotgun at Ansley's head and made a noise like a shotgun blast and I was up and over there in about 10 seconds. Surely, I thought, if I stand here - staring at him - on this piece of playground equipment, he will either leave or at least leave my kids alone. We are not talking about the biggest playground - it was pretty much play on this or swing. But this was not to be. After being called several names I didn't hear until middle school, I watched him take that shotgun and swipe it at both me and the other kids attempting to climb up to get to the

And at that point, I was done. I firmly took the end of his shotgun in my hand, pulled it to me, leaned in close to his drawn up little face, and whispered, "If you touch me or another child on this playground again with your hand or this gun, I will lay you out on this ground."

Instantly I began praying that he believed me. That he really though I had it in me to put him flat on his back in front of God and everyone at the playground. Our eyes were locked for several seconds...and then he sat back. He had bought it. He bought my threat. The kids began climbing around him to get to the slide and he just sat there. No tears. No words.

After a few seconds, I told him we would love to play with him if he was nice. No answer.

A few minutes later, a van drove by and it was his ride. He took off running to the van. Well, I thought - perhaps I just bought myself to meeting with his mom - who is probably 100 pounds of muscle and tobacco...Maybe I can outrun her I thought. Kim can take the kids in the opposite direction.

But the van drove off.

And my heart was sad.

How sad to be 8 years old and to put a plastic shotgun to someone's temple and pull the plastic trigger. How sad to be that mean when you are so young.

When I told Jamey about it later, he said, "He is 100% showing off what he sees at home." And I know this is true. But the anger- the desire to hurt someone. At only 8 years old.

Ansley had so many questions about it. And let me tell you, it is not easy teaching your child the right way to stand up for themselves. When do you just concede the playground - when do you say, you know what? I can play here too. And Im not going to let you hurt me.

I'm not sure. But I am sure that my heart breaks for that little boy.

Back Home

Cruising was definitely a NEW experience for all the Dukes! And we jumped in with our whole crew not really knowing what to expect. It ended up being a great trip and a great experience for us all. We left Mobile about 4 Saturday afternoon and spent the next day and a half at sea. This meant time spent at the pool, reading, eating, eating and eating! Our rooms were tiny, but had everything we needed. We had pull down beds for the kids, but they spend pretty much every night in the room with my mom down the hall so we really didn't need the pull down beds anyway.
Jamey and I decided that we are more fans of the excursions than we are the days at sea. This was one clean and organized boat! And there was so much to do on the boat - we both just had kind of a, well, antsy feeling the days at sea. I am not sure if that makes sense. We loved exploring the cities. Progresso had the best cheap, fun jewelry. We all agreed that we wished we had purchased more pieces there. Cozumel did not have nearly the cheap (but still really cute) items. Everything there was expensive! In Cozumel, we went to Playa Mia for the day. Swimming, jumping on the water trampoline and taking a catamaran out were the events of the day.
Each night, our WONDERFUL waiter would present the best meal. It was so nice. I can't even begin to describe it. He told us he sees his family in the Philippines every 6-7 months. I don't know how he does it. He told us he was thankful to have a job and to be able to send money to his family. He was such a gentleman.
The shows on the boat were really good too. Much better than I had expected. I didn't realize they would do a dancing/singing show several nights. Also, they have a Camp Carnival that runs almost 24 hours a day for the kids. They did arts and crafts and games and snacks and movies for the kids.

Our only bad experience the whole time actually happened to my mom. But she was a trooper and let it roll right off of her. The pool on that boat was WAY too small and deck chairs were PRIME real estate. She found an empty chair one morning and sat down to read. About 45 minutes later a very LOUD and presumably drunk man insisted she had moved all his things to a secret location and had stolen his chair that he had been saving all morning. Um, ok. His wife was embarrassed (although I am assuming he behaved this way on a regular basis - too bad for her) and my mom told him she had done no such thing, but quickly moved away from the crazy man.

We are now researching the Disney cruise :) Of course, this is no surprise to any of you out there!!!
We are off to the beach tomorrow to visit with friends and soak up some of the last days of Spring Break 2010.

Watching her grow up

It's one thing to have an unhappy child b/c she is hungry or tired or because you are forcing her to brush her teeth (the horror). But watching your child unhappy because of things you can't control or shouldn't control, is a different ballgame entirely. And knowing when to step in and when to let her deal with it is certainly something I am not an expert in.

The children rushed through the open gate of the playground, baskets in hand. They took off in all directions searching for Easter eggs in the grass, near the fence, around the picnic table. The quickest children were filling up their baskets fast. But Ansley was not the quickest by any stretch of the imagination. She was always one or two steps behind the faster children - the ones who would reach out and grab an egg just as she reached for it. None of those children were mean and none were attempting to block Ansley from any of the eggs. But in the land of Easter egg hunts, it is every kid for themselves. It took about 30 seconds for Ansley to get frustrated. She looked at me with big eyes that were quickly filling with tears.
"I'm not fast enough." she tells me.
"Yes, you are." I tell her. And my heart is caught in my throat. We go behind the swarms of children and I help her see the less obvious eggs. The ones above her eye level. The ones tucked into crevices or fence boards. She begins to enjoy it and she adds a few eggs to her basket. The hunt is over in minutes. And she has FAR fewer eggs than most of the other children. I am proud of her when the child next to her announces she has 22 eggs and Ansley reponds by saying, "And I have 9 eggs." She does not tear up when saying it. Her little chin does not quiver. She hugs her basket of 9 eggs close to her little heart and smiles at me.

At times, she is going to be frustrated and hurt and sad through her life - just as I was at times growing up. But I hope she remembers that she is smart and beautiful and that she IS fast enough. She is just right the way she is.

Catching up with pictures..