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Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Playground Wars

I have been trying to blog about this particular incident all week. I think it took me a while to get my thoughts together and they are still a little scattered - so excuse the run-on sentences and the stream of consciousness-type writing.

The kids and I spent last Saturday on Dauphin Island with my good friend Kim and her family. They were camping there for Spring Break so we went for the day for some beach and some fun. It was a great day complete with a picnic and some time on the playground. And that is where I met....HIM. The meanest 8 year old I think I have ever seen in my life. And I have spent almost 10 years working in public schools - the last 6 as an elementary school counselor.

While Kim and I say chatting on a park bench, I glanced to my left to catch Carson (Kim's son) jumping out of the way a kid taking a swing at him. At first I assumed it was simply a game of you-can't-get-me. But when this kid turned around, I knew he was not joking. This kid was armed with a plastic, full sized shotgun and was threatening any kid who dared step on the playground equipment he had declared his own property. But it wasn't just threats - he was acting on it.

"I think we can all share this slide." I said.

He then shoved the end of that shotgun at Ansley's head and made a noise like a shotgun blast and I was up and over there in about 10 seconds. Surely, I thought, if I stand here - staring at him - on this piece of playground equipment, he will either leave or at least leave my kids alone. We are not talking about the biggest playground - it was pretty much play on this or swing. But this was not to be. After being called several names I didn't hear until middle school, I watched him take that shotgun and swipe it at both me and the other kids attempting to climb up to get to the

And at that point, I was done. I firmly took the end of his shotgun in my hand, pulled it to me, leaned in close to his drawn up little face, and whispered, "If you touch me or another child on this playground again with your hand or this gun, I will lay you out on this ground."

Instantly I began praying that he believed me. That he really though I had it in me to put him flat on his back in front of God and everyone at the playground. Our eyes were locked for several seconds...and then he sat back. He had bought it. He bought my threat. The kids began climbing around him to get to the slide and he just sat there. No tears. No words.

After a few seconds, I told him we would love to play with him if he was nice. No answer.

A few minutes later, a van drove by and it was his ride. He took off running to the van. Well, I thought - perhaps I just bought myself to meeting with his mom - who is probably 100 pounds of muscle and tobacco...Maybe I can outrun her I thought. Kim can take the kids in the opposite direction.

But the van drove off.

And my heart was sad.

How sad to be 8 years old and to put a plastic shotgun to someone's temple and pull the plastic trigger. How sad to be that mean when you are so young.

When I told Jamey about it later, he said, "He is 100% showing off what he sees at home." And I know this is true. But the anger- the desire to hurt someone. At only 8 years old.

Ansley had so many questions about it. And let me tell you, it is not easy teaching your child the right way to stand up for themselves. When do you just concede the playground - when do you say, you know what? I can play here too. And Im not going to let you hurt me.

I'm not sure. But I am sure that my heart breaks for that little boy.

4 comments:

kim said...

It broke my heart too!!! =( All I could do was stand in shock...I know you probably thought "what in the world is she doing?" But, I honestly did not even know where to start and I have doubted my decision not to walk over to the van & calmly talk to the mother ever since that day. I still can not believe a child so young could be so mean, and that is when my heart truly breaks! Jamey is right, he is repeating what he has seen.

aeb said...

WOW! Such a sad... and actually scary... situation. It breaks my heart for that child, and your children. I am so impressed by how you responded ~ firmly ~ but later inviting him to play nicely. You and Jamey are such amazing parents. Every mom and dad should take a page out of your book!

Leigh Vought said...

That just breaks my heart for that little boy and your children for having to see that. Jamey is right though that he is doing exactly what he sees at home. Children like that just make me so sad. I am very impressed with how you handled the situation.

Sarah McCrory said...

Truthfully, I doubt that a conversation with the mom would have done anyone any good. I think it was a positive thing that he recognized and respected your authority. Sometimes kids don't have anyone that cares enough to tell them "no" and other times it's not said in a kind way. You made a positive impact on that child and your children! You are such a great mom!